Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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