im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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