His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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