But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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