a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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