I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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