Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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