Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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