I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
