Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
