VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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