How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
