Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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