i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and she was petting her beer can
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
