if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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