i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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