On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
