WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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