i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
