can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
