i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
PANTIES FOUND
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