my being single is dangerous.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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