I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
