found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
