So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
