Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
