Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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