Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize