There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
