opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm bleeding and have questions
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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