Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
True strength comes from lack of pants
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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