Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
