Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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