11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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