how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
