chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They took my balls.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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