my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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