Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Never underestimate the power of titties
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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