Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
