some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
