yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
