Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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