Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
