the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
