Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
