I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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