Umm I'm too high to move.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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