guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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