She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
As shirtless as possible
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
