If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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