the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
