Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
