from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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