the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
