she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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