its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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