Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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