I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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