Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Welp...herpes.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
