My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
