And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize