I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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