She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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